Messed up Crystal Version
by wolf fullmoon
Summary: Based on my messed up glitchy Crystal Version of my Pokemon game...this is pure utter crack and most of the words are copied right from the screen complete
1. Chapter 1

Ookami- Based on this really messed up Pokemon Crystal Version I have

Disclaimer- I don't own Pokemon

The boy opened his eyes. It was completely dark…then a voice rang out.

"Are you a boy or a girl?"

So the boy poked at the button that said 'Boy'

The voice rang out again.

"Welcome! It's elf's world please check the time. What time is it?"

The boy looked at the options.

Af 10h

Mn 9h

Ni 10h

He randomly chose one and chose some random minutes after that as well. The voice continued talking.

"Ni 7h59 Mit mustn' be that"

The lights turned on and the boy saw an old man with a white lab coat and a red and white ball in his hand.

"Go to the elf's world welcome! Everyone call me elf monster."

The boy looks to his left at a strange blue creature.

"Elfs, here are called monster they existed everywhere……..they play friendly help each other live with people" 

The boy looked back at the old man.

"But we don't understand them entirely there are many secrets inside to know these riddles I do a investigation for everyday"

The old man looked at the boy.

"Please tell me what is your name"

"Ab" The boy responded

"Ab! Do you get ready? Your story will start from now at once for the future you will meet many trails and hardships, bitter and sweet to explore the dreams let's go to the monster's world start see you later"

The boy's last thoughts before the area faded around him was 'what the f is that man smoking?!'

The boy woke to find himself in a room. It kinda looked like his room…he went up to the computer in the room and turned it on.

Ab! The power supply has been plugged into

A screen popped up on the monitor.

Here's what it said,

Prop

Keep

Throw

Mailbox

Stuff

Off

Ab shut the computer off. What is wrong with this place? He turned on the radio instead.

"Elf channel. Opposite dr walnut elf channel!"

Ab quickly shut the radio off.

'Hey…a map!' so Ab went over to the map.

He was in Rytown.

Shrugging he went downstairs.

His mom assaulted him when he tried to walk past her.

"The adjoining dr. wu found you and want you to do something yes, remember it, the repaired elf gear is taken. I know it."

Ab get the elf gear is omitted xiuci and will not be an independ coach, without it. Yes, didn't write the week, wrote it before using.

"What is today?" Mom asked Ab

"Mon." Ab replied.

"Monday ok?" Mom asked.

"Yes." Ab said simply

"Yes remember how to use phone?"

:"Um…yes." Ab responded.

"Insert the pin of xiuci, select the holy figure, ok? Tel no. can be log on automatically if make call find it and log on. So simply, very good"

Ab stood there for a few minutes.

'What the heck did that woman just say to me?!'

Shrugging he decided to go outside. It was night out and the place was dark but he could still see. As he walked he saw a large lab. Ab went up and saw a boy watching through the lab window.

The boy was muttering to himself."

"The famous wusiji monster graduate school."

So being curious Ab went up to the boy and poked him.

The boys turned to face Ab angrily.

"What don't stare me always" the boy said angrily before kicking Ab away.

'Ow…rude jerk…'

So ab went inside the lab

There was a man inside and he turned to Ab in a hurry.

"Mr. Ab, I am waiting for you. I call you today for something to request you. Now I am making a new research into elf, wish you to cooperate in fact, I am writing its data to publish in academy, and something to know for a long time, I think, can you look after the elf grasped lately for me?"

"Yes." Ab responded even though he didn't really know what the man was saying to him.

"Mr. Ab thanks! This help my business if this research is published we'll make more progress to uncover the fan of elf wait to see."

Suddenly the computer near the man beeped and the man turned to it and read in a hurry.

"Ah! It's so."

He then turned back to Ab.

"I have a friend called elf grandfather; he found a very strange thing. It's a big find spreaded greatly, now he send a mail wrote 'this is ture certainly', we all care the matter, but I and my helper are busy for the research awfully I feel shy, do you see it for me?"

The man ran away to a table nearby.

"The elf I want to breed, is put into the box for Mr. Ab, the elf will become his companion select please"

So ab went up to the table and looked at the first ball.

It was a small creature with flames erupting from its back.

"Do you change fired elf into a big wind of fire?"

"Um…no…?"

"Think slowly and decide"

Ab moved to the next ball.

A small blue alligator-like creature.

"Water elf little crocodile will do!"

"Um…no?"

"Think slowly and decide." The weird man advised.

Ab moved to the final ball.

A small green creature.

"Grass elf qige leader may like!?"

"Um…sure…why not?"

"I think it's the best."

'Sure you do' Ab thought to himself.

Ab gain qiaok from wu gain!qiaok name for pet?

So ab named it :( 8

"Elf grandfather lives in front of jieye city. A forthright leads here. Easy to understand I tell you my tel no. before if you have something, give me a ring."

Ab log on the tel no. of wusiji dr.

"If the elf is injured, use the machine freely to cure then Mr. Ab request you"

Ab was thoroughly confused. Does everyone in this world talk so…stupidly?

So ab tried to leave but the man's assistant stopped him.

"Mr. Ab! I give you this for I trust you. Believed you will use it!"

Ab receive drug.

Ab!drug

bagfuck

"A little matter will make us in a mess for we are only two men to deal with it"

Ab merely stared.

Wtf was that weirdo thinking?! He just gave a minor some drugs!

Oh well.

So ab shrugged and went on him way.

-End-

Ookami- Is it just me or is this majorly messed up?!


	2. Chapter 2

Ookami- In a mighty act of boredom…I will be continuing it! And yes, this is really what's happening in my Crystal Version…it's screwed up…

-Chapter 2-

Ab walked away from Wusiji's monster graduate school and back to his own house. He needs to tall his mom he was going to leave home after all.

He went up to his mom.

"What is Wu Dr.'s emergency? To be requested is a marvelous thing." His mom said before turning away and going back to whatever she was doing.

'Wait…what?' Ab thought to himself before deciding it was a lost cause and just walked away into the area with tall grass.

'I might as well train my elf.'

Wild Oud jump out

Ab recoiled in shock as he saw the…Oud (Sentrent).

"Go away!" Ab shouted as he threw out his ball and sent out his qiaok (Chikorita).

":(8 use proud!"

:(8 used proud.

The opponent Oud attacked as well.

En'sound proud!

":(8 use proud again!"

Oud? Falled

:(8 16 experience

Ab stared at his elf. Well…that was fun…

He decided to save the game before anything stupid happens…

Wrote status to elf' report

Yes or no

He chose yes

Following the report above write on aren't it?

Yes or no

He chose yes

Now we are writing the report

Ab! Write the report!

Ab continued walking around looking for elves.

Wild Lap (Pidgey) jump out.

"Go away!"

:(8 was once more sent out to fight.

"Use Proud!"

:(8 struck the enemy and the enemy tried to hit back.

En'slap proud, but en'slap miss

"Use proud!"

The Lap attacked too.

This was bad, this next hit actually hit and :(8's hp dropped to red.

Suddenly :(8 glowed and healed.

:(8 is sunston recover

Oh yeah…:(8 was holding something…

Oh well, he attacked once more and the battle ended.

Ab decided he should check on his elf's attacks.

Hm…:(8 can use Proud and Cry

What the heck were those attacks anyway? Weren't the attacks supposed to be Pound or something?

Either way, Ab went into a few more battles until :(8 grew a level!

:(8 23 experience

:(8 level 6 rise

Atta 12

Defe 13

Moral 12

True 14

Move 11

Oh well…:(8 was now a little injured so Ab went to Wusiji's house/lab/school and healed :(8 on the machine.

To cure the elf?

Ab chose Yes

Now back to training!

Wild Oud jump out

Once more the two elves traded prouds as they fought.

After fighting a few more Ouds and Laps :(8 grew another level.

Ab was starting to enjoy this as he began to get used to the messed up world he was living in.

During one battle a new phrase came up

Hit to key

That probably meant Critical Hit…

He found a tree and decided to pick a berry or something from it…

There is the tree with fruit!

Ab find Sunston

Ab!Sunston

Bag fuck

Why the heck did it always say fuck?!

A little while later Ab found out what happens when his only elf falls

Though Ab hard

The pocket monster isn't in here!

Ab scene of blank at present!

He blacked out and woke up in his room. His money supply was missing a bit.

'OMG! That Lap must've robbed me!'

He rushed out of the house to beat up some more elves in order to make himself feel better.

'I'm going to train :(8 so strong that this'll never happen…'

:(8 level 8 rise

Atta 14

Defe 16

Moral 15

True 17

Move 14

:(8 Ah!new wood want to memorize it

(It learned a new attack)

The new attack is called Wood, Ab had no idea what the heck it was.

So he checked his elf…

There were a few options.

Able

Move

Stunt

Stuff

End

He chose Able and got :(8's status page

Wrong one

He chose Stunt and got the list of :(8's attacks and what they did

Proud

Stylnorm Poer35

Attack by knock enemy

Cry

Stylnorm Power

Lovely to low enemy power

Wood

Stylgra Poer55

Cut enemy with leaf

Okay…I think I get this now…

0o0o0o0o0

Ab was walking around and he saw a large ball on the ground. He went up and picked it up.

Ab!Drug find!

Ab!Drug

Bag Fuck

'Why is it always fuck?!'

What the heck is the drug anyway?

He check his bag.

Drug x2

Power Renew 20p

Sunston x1

Strengt add 10 by it

Weird…oh well. He continued on his way.

Wild Bird jump out

(Bird-Spearow)

The battle was over in two turns…although the Bird did attack with something that was super effective against :(8.

Wild Sicib jump out (Geodude)

:(8 wood!

Hit to key

Effectively!

:(8 level 9 rise

Ab saved the game again.

0o0o0o0

Wild Caml jump out (Rattata)

:(8 took it down with two prouds

a little while later Ab came upon a town.

An old man was standing there so he decided to talk to him.

"You are new coach? Yes, no matter, everyone has its beginning, maybe I teach you?"

"Yes." Ab responded.

"Well I introduce to you exactly."

The man led him through the town and stopped at certain places to describe them to Ab.

"there, the monster center! If you keep injured monsters there they will get back at once, in the future you often gain its help, so better to know distinctly."

He walked off again.

"this is the 'friend's store'. Sorts of goods to sell, for example, the basin to grasp monsters, etc."

He walked off once more.

"the front is wandaolu. everyone's priding monsters play games there."

More walking.

"This is the sea, the monster there only lives in water."

They walked up to a house.

"This is my home, thank you for chatting with me, this for you."

Ab get map

"You can see the map with the gearing of Ab. With the 'handy card' the monster gearing will be handy more!"

With that the man turned and ran up to his house.

Ab shrugged and went up to a monster center. Going up to the girl with pink hair he talked to her.

"Hello the monster center! Monster strength is recovering let your monster hane a rest?"

"Yes."

"Then give me it first."

The girl took :(8 and the machine blinked.

"Waitting you for a long time these monsters you handed me are all renew. Come again please!"

Ab headed out into the grass outside of town, this time in the north.

Wild Pedal jump out (Caterpie)

:(8 took it down with two prouds.

(I would write down the enemy's attacks as well but it goes too fast for me to read…)

Hey look, another tree!

There is the tree with fruit!

Sunston end

Sunston got

Ab!sunston

BagFuck

He left the tree and walked along before finding another large ball on the ground and picked it up.

Ab!Anti

Bagfuck

What the heck is an Anti?!

Wild Bide jump out (Weedle)

En'sBide Pin! The Bide attacked

Effectively!

Pin hurts :(8 effectively…

:(8 killed

Ab blinked. Wait…:(8 just got poisoned and being poisoned was called 'killed'? And yet Fainted was called 'Falled'?!

Either way:(8 took down the Bide and Ab winced as he looked at his poisoned monster/elf.

'Thank goodness I have an Anti.'

After healing his elf with the Anti and making :(8 no longer killed, Ab headed off and found the house of the guy he was supposed to talk to.

"Ah, ah, you are Mr. Ab, Wusiji Dr. Calls he is waiting for you. Let Wu Dr. Investigate the thing."

Ab gain magical egg from grandfather

Ab!Odd egg

Pocketfuck

"A couple is breeding the grasped monsters, that is them. Maybe send out a mail about the research of monster evolving. Wu Dr. is unique. Anyway, Oujide Dr. accepts this point. If my dream is true, Wu Dr. knows it."

That's when the other old man in the room (whom Ab recognized as the weirdo who was there when he first started playing this game) came up to the two and spoke.

"You are Mr. Ab! I am Oujide to study the monster. I asked my old friend, monster grandfather. He says there is a cortege comes from Mr. Wusiji, so I am waiting. Oh, you take a scarce monster, and, with reason this is the reason why Mr. Wusiji request you! For he gave you the monster. I can accept the reason. I and Wusiji are the same researcher, we think the monster is out important friend, if it's you, you must look after them well. Yes, I see you and want to request you a thing. In fact, you look the illustrated handbook, it uses spiry technique to automaticalyrecord the data of grasped monsters."

Ab gain the illustrated handbook from Oujide.

"If you meet with many monsters, I wish you use and look after them well. Within an inch of forgetting it, I do so all the time, now I will go back to xiaojin city to make radio programs, bye Mr. Ab. Request you!"

The old man ran away.

The other old man spoke to him then.

"Do you want to go to Oujide? Let monsters have a rest, they'll be better."

The old man healed :(8.

"Request you."

Ab left the house and got a phone call.

-"Hello! Mr. Ab? What is this? It too bad go back soon!"

Suddenly the screen flashed and the game ended.

That's all the farthest you can go in that messed up game.

The End


	3. Author's note

To clear up some confusion-

When I play the messed up Crystal version, it always blacks out once I reach a certain point in the game and I can't get past it. I also cannot save the game. I know there are emulators out there that can play the game on your computer but my version of the messed up Crystal is an ACTUAL game cartilage that I put in my Gameboy Color in order to play. I supposed the emulators on the computer can play past certain points in the game but the one I have always blacks out there. Even when I take the card out and clean it I'll get the same result.


End file.
